Thursday, March 15, 2012

Meet the Fiends Living in my Sock Drawer

Duane Gro Bub is a relatively new inhabitant of my sock drawer, emigrating from one of the lower circles of Hell sometime in mid-October.  I didn't even know he was there until I found him napping in the corner using one of my good socks rolled up into ball as a pillow.  Never one to waste an opportunity, he gave me one of his business cards before shooing me away to go back to sleep.

Turns out Duane is a realtor, and with a move to Ontario on the horizon, I decided to give him a call.  He wasn't much help, though; all he was concerned with was ensuring our house sold as soon as possible, which meant listing it somewhere south of thirty dollars.  Not only that, his breath reeked of sulfur.  He tried to hide it by gargling from a bottle of Lysol, but that just made him smell like a public toilet.  Even worse, he refused to wear trousers.

In the end I decided not to go with old Duane. He was nice enough, but I just wasn't comfortable dealing with someone who, every time he reached over to write something on his notepad, I could see his balls.

1 comment:

  1. hmmm, i really hope this is comedy and not about your actual realtor or i'll never be able to look at him the same way again...oh dear