Sunday, June 3, 2012

Tales from the Sock Drawer: Gary the Crow

Standing five feet eleven inches tall and weighing 120 pounds, Gary the Crow is one massive bird.  And don't let the weight fool you: the reason he's so light is because of his hollow bones.  Seriously, if Gary was a mammal he'd easily top 250 pounds.

Not surprisingly, flying has become difficult for this over-sized corvid, so to make things easier, Gary purchased for himself a big black pickup truck.   He uses it like a bus, transporting crows to various parking lots around the city, quietly reading the paper while his normal sized brothers and sisters go in search of garbage.  Crows, though, are notoriously messy, and to keep his truck clean and shiny, Gary has introduced a strict no pooping policy: you're caught once and you're banned for life.  I don't know how he enforces it though; even Gary will admit they all look the same.

Oh, and what ever you do, don't call him Gary the Raven.  He hates that.