I finally got my first novel up on smashwords! It’s called Escaping Entry, and, man, I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to have it up there. I’ve been working on this monstrosity for seven years —seven whole years!—and to finally have it available to people is both exhilarating and terrifying.
I’ve always had a difficult time making anything I do public, and this is no exception. (I’m drinking vodka right now. Otherwise I’d be in a fetal position on the floor, wondering if I shouldn’t have given it just one more edit.) I’m trying not to be too silly about it, though. I worked really hard writing this story, and while I know this is highly subjective, I’m confident this will go down as the greatest novel to feature characters named Billy, Harold, Rudy, and Greenie in at least fifty years.
Now comes the hard part: getting the word out. I am, by nature, painfully shy, but if I am ever going to make more than ten dollars from this venture, I must get out there and tell people what I’ve done. So, to all those people who enjoy fantasy novels and have a hankering for something to read, why don’t you download my novel? The first five chapters are free, and if you happen to like it, you can purchase the whole thing for 99 cents.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to refill my mug with more vodka.
Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
'nother excerpt from my novel, Escaping Entry
For anyone who knew him, that he should have decided to go for a stroll would not have come as a surprise. After reading and sleeping, it was his favorite thing to do. He didn’t have anywhere in particular in mind when he went walking, yet the vast majority of his walks brought him to one of either two destinations, one of them being the wrought iron arch decorating the city’s exit onto the hill. Tall and black, with the top spreading out like a giant fan, it always struck Billy as gloomy, like a park of dead trees. Even the roses his father had planted at its base couldn’t hide its depressing nature. That’s not to say the arch didn’t hold some kind of attraction for Billy; that so many of his walks led through it was a clear indication that it did, and as he approached it on that chilly May morning, he couldn’t help but notice the roses, and how brilliant they looked.
“Must be the weather,” he thought. “With a day as gray as this one, anything with color is going to stand out.”
He didn’t have time to really think about it though, for almost as soon as he stopped to examine them, a disturbance happened somewhere down the hill.
It sounded like crows, dozens of them. Not really thinking, Billy started in the direction of the noise. Could it be the mountain lion? Or an eagle? He’d seen a big bird through his bedroom window just the other morning, circling slowly above the rooftops. Sometimes when an eagle’s soaring brought them too close to a crow’s nest, all the crows in the area would gather into a noisy throng, rushing the larger bird until it decided to leave. Whatever it was, it must have been causing the crows a considerable amount of stress, because not only did their screaming continue, but it seemed to be gaining in intensity.
“I bet it’s the mountain lion,” Billy said to himself. “She caught herself a crow and now its friends are trying to drive her away.”
Billy continued down the hill, following the noise through the trees, until he noticed the ground on which he was traveling was level. “How long have I been walking?” he wondered, anxiously running his fingers through his hair. The forest he knew existed at an angle, and not to see it like that was enough to send his heart beating. He wasn’t really lost, though; the road leading back to Entry was only a few yards off to his left.
“That’s a relief!” he said, moving to stand on the road’s edge. Following its passage through the trees, Billy was able to discern a slight change in angle as it started up an incline. “So if the hill’s back there,” he thought, turning to peer in the opposite direction, “the flats must be relatively close by!” He stood there, picturing the road as it exited the forest to cut across a vast prairie. And then it occurred to him: “What would happen if I kept going?”
It was while Billy was contemplating the ridiculousness of that thought that he noticed how still the forest was. “What happened to the crows?” he wondered. It wasn’t much later that a bloodcurdling howl filled the air. Too terrible to be a dog, it caused the hair on his neck to stand to attention. The horrible noise was still echoing through the trees when a second noise appeared: the cries of a man frantically calling for help.
“Must be the weather,” he thought. “With a day as gray as this one, anything with color is going to stand out.”
He didn’t have time to really think about it though, for almost as soon as he stopped to examine them, a disturbance happened somewhere down the hill.
It sounded like crows, dozens of them. Not really thinking, Billy started in the direction of the noise. Could it be the mountain lion? Or an eagle? He’d seen a big bird through his bedroom window just the other morning, circling slowly above the rooftops. Sometimes when an eagle’s soaring brought them too close to a crow’s nest, all the crows in the area would gather into a noisy throng, rushing the larger bird until it decided to leave. Whatever it was, it must have been causing the crows a considerable amount of stress, because not only did their screaming continue, but it seemed to be gaining in intensity.
“I bet it’s the mountain lion,” Billy said to himself. “She caught herself a crow and now its friends are trying to drive her away.”
Billy continued down the hill, following the noise through the trees, until he noticed the ground on which he was traveling was level. “How long have I been walking?” he wondered, anxiously running his fingers through his hair. The forest he knew existed at an angle, and not to see it like that was enough to send his heart beating. He wasn’t really lost, though; the road leading back to Entry was only a few yards off to his left.
“That’s a relief!” he said, moving to stand on the road’s edge. Following its passage through the trees, Billy was able to discern a slight change in angle as it started up an incline. “So if the hill’s back there,” he thought, turning to peer in the opposite direction, “the flats must be relatively close by!” He stood there, picturing the road as it exited the forest to cut across a vast prairie. And then it occurred to him: “What would happen if I kept going?”
It was while Billy was contemplating the ridiculousness of that thought that he noticed how still the forest was. “What happened to the crows?” he wondered. It wasn’t much later that a bloodcurdling howl filled the air. Too terrible to be a dog, it caused the hair on his neck to stand to attention. The horrible noise was still echoing through the trees when a second noise appeared: the cries of a man frantically calling for help.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Excerpt from my novel, 'Escaping Entry'
I’m releasing my debut novel as an e-book in a couple of weeks. It’s about a young man who is hired to take photographs of an eccentric nobleman murdering monsters. It’s fantasy, of course, sure to entertain preschool teachers and tattoo artists alike, as well as everyone in between. (but not loan officers. For some reason they have a hard time enjoying anything with giant horses in them. Anything else is fine, but put a twelve foot tall horse in your story and you might as well be handing them a manual on microwave ovens.) So, while I’m getting everything in order, here’s an 854 word sneak peek at the project that gave me a nervous breakdown:
———-
“Good morning!” she said.
Billy smiled. It always amazed him how cheerful Hailey looked in the morning. It didn’t matter what the weather was; it could be dark and rainy outside, she still managed to come across as a ray of sunshine. At least he’d remembered to put on his trousers before moving to the bathroom. “It’s chilly this morning,” he said, breaking into a yawn.
“It certainly is! I wore a sweater along with my jacket picking flowers this morning and still I couldn’t get warm! It’s like winter out there!”
“I know! When I saw the clouds outside my window I almost didn’t want to get out bed!” Billy paused, waiting for the inevitable question about how that was different than any other morning, except none came. “If ever I have a lot of money, I’m going to hire somebody to keep my clothes warm while I’m sleeping.” This made Hailey laugh. “I’m serious! I’d pay someone to sit in a chair all night and wear my clothes so that when I woke up they’d be all warmed up for me. They would have to remain still of course, so as not to build up any sweat. I’d probably hire an old person to do it. You know, someone who just sits around all night and reads.”
“Why not just hang your clothes next to a fire place? I mean if you had a lot of money you could hire somebody to keep the fire lit.”
Billy was disappointed by her lack of imagination. “I suppose I could do that,” he said. “Either that or I could move somewhere warm. Hey, you haven’t seen my mother, have you?”
“I saw her just before I left to pick flowers. My goodness, but she’s in a terrible mood.”
Billy winced.
“Don’t worry,” Hailey said. “It’s not because of you. It seems somebody’s been stealing our firewood. Eric was out collecting wood for the dining room and he noticed loads missing from the day before.”
“So that’s what she was yelling about? For a minute there, I thought it was over something I’d done!”
“No, not this time, I’m afraid,” Hailey said, giving him another smile. “But isn’t that strange? Stealing firewood like that? You’d think with such an abundance of trees there would be no need.”
“It has to be laziness. Somebody out there decided it would be less work to simply take it than harvest it themselves. Obviously they didn’t understand they were stealing from a crazy woman.”
Hailey snorted into her armful of flowers. “Oh, come on,” she laughed. “Veronica’s not that bad. Yes, she has a temper, but I’d be angry too if somebody stole from me. In fact, I am angry! It bothers me that someone would think it’s acceptable to steal. Even if it is only firewood. Oh, and before I forget,” she said, bringing her index finger to her cheek, “your mother told me to remind you to pick up the bed sheets from Bremming’s.”
Now this was something that really irritated Billy. It was bad enough that Veronica felt it necessary to remind him whenever he had a job to do, but then sending Hailey to do it too? “I know, I know,” he said, flicking his comb irritably in front of him. “I was going to go after I had something to eat. I’ve only just gotten up, you know.” And just to show how true that statement was, he made a big show of wiping the sleep from one of his eyes. “Is it just me, or does it seem like we’re sending sheets off to be washed every other day?”
“The beds do get changed every day,” said Hailey.
“But why? It’s not like there are new people staying here all the time. It’s the same people staying in the same rooms for weeks at a time. I don’t see the need for changing their sheets everyday like that. Take my bed for example. I’ve had the same sheets on my bed since October, and you don’t see me coming down with any strange diseases.” The outrage in Billy’s voice turned into embarrassment. “Did I say October? I meant March…”
Hailey couldn’t help but smile at Billy’s blushing face. Mercifully, rather than let him suffer, she chose to steer the conversation towards something she’d heard over breakfast instead. “Remember last night?” she began, making sure there was no one within earshot. “When Eric was talking about how they’d found something big? Well, earlier at breakfast, I was chatting to one of the researchers and he mentioned finding something massive on one of the mountainsides. It was only a vertebra, but judging from the size, he thinks the creature was of a scale never before dreamed of.”
“How big was it? The piece of bone, I mean.”
“Fifty feet I think he said.”
“Fifty feet?!? But that doesn’t seem possible!”
“I’m just repeating what he told me. You can’t say anything, though.”
———-
“Good morning!” she said.
Billy smiled. It always amazed him how cheerful Hailey looked in the morning. It didn’t matter what the weather was; it could be dark and rainy outside, she still managed to come across as a ray of sunshine. At least he’d remembered to put on his trousers before moving to the bathroom. “It’s chilly this morning,” he said, breaking into a yawn.
“It certainly is! I wore a sweater along with my jacket picking flowers this morning and still I couldn’t get warm! It’s like winter out there!”
“I know! When I saw the clouds outside my window I almost didn’t want to get out bed!” Billy paused, waiting for the inevitable question about how that was different than any other morning, except none came. “If ever I have a lot of money, I’m going to hire somebody to keep my clothes warm while I’m sleeping.” This made Hailey laugh. “I’m serious! I’d pay someone to sit in a chair all night and wear my clothes so that when I woke up they’d be all warmed up for me. They would have to remain still of course, so as not to build up any sweat. I’d probably hire an old person to do it. You know, someone who just sits around all night and reads.”
“Why not just hang your clothes next to a fire place? I mean if you had a lot of money you could hire somebody to keep the fire lit.”
Billy was disappointed by her lack of imagination. “I suppose I could do that,” he said. “Either that or I could move somewhere warm. Hey, you haven’t seen my mother, have you?”
“I saw her just before I left to pick flowers. My goodness, but she’s in a terrible mood.”
Billy winced.
“Don’t worry,” Hailey said. “It’s not because of you. It seems somebody’s been stealing our firewood. Eric was out collecting wood for the dining room and he noticed loads missing from the day before.”
“So that’s what she was yelling about? For a minute there, I thought it was over something I’d done!”
“No, not this time, I’m afraid,” Hailey said, giving him another smile. “But isn’t that strange? Stealing firewood like that? You’d think with such an abundance of trees there would be no need.”
“It has to be laziness. Somebody out there decided it would be less work to simply take it than harvest it themselves. Obviously they didn’t understand they were stealing from a crazy woman.”
Hailey snorted into her armful of flowers. “Oh, come on,” she laughed. “Veronica’s not that bad. Yes, she has a temper, but I’d be angry too if somebody stole from me. In fact, I am angry! It bothers me that someone would think it’s acceptable to steal. Even if it is only firewood. Oh, and before I forget,” she said, bringing her index finger to her cheek, “your mother told me to remind you to pick up the bed sheets from Bremming’s.”
Now this was something that really irritated Billy. It was bad enough that Veronica felt it necessary to remind him whenever he had a job to do, but then sending Hailey to do it too? “I know, I know,” he said, flicking his comb irritably in front of him. “I was going to go after I had something to eat. I’ve only just gotten up, you know.” And just to show how true that statement was, he made a big show of wiping the sleep from one of his eyes. “Is it just me, or does it seem like we’re sending sheets off to be washed every other day?”
“The beds do get changed every day,” said Hailey.
“But why? It’s not like there are new people staying here all the time. It’s the same people staying in the same rooms for weeks at a time. I don’t see the need for changing their sheets everyday like that. Take my bed for example. I’ve had the same sheets on my bed since October, and you don’t see me coming down with any strange diseases.” The outrage in Billy’s voice turned into embarrassment. “Did I say October? I meant March…”
Hailey couldn’t help but smile at Billy’s blushing face. Mercifully, rather than let him suffer, she chose to steer the conversation towards something she’d heard over breakfast instead. “Remember last night?” she began, making sure there was no one within earshot. “When Eric was talking about how they’d found something big? Well, earlier at breakfast, I was chatting to one of the researchers and he mentioned finding something massive on one of the mountainsides. It was only a vertebra, but judging from the size, he thinks the creature was of a scale never before dreamed of.”
“How big was it? The piece of bone, I mean.”
“Fifty feet I think he said.”
“Fifty feet?!? But that doesn’t seem possible!”
“I’m just repeating what he told me. You can’t say anything, though.”
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