Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Tales From the Sock Drawer: Vince O'Malley

Vince O'Malley always had a knack for the scientifical, yet for whatever reason never pursued it.  Then one day he decided to enter my Sock Drawer's Annual Science Fair.  He did surprisingly well, placing third with a display showing what happens if you leave a nail in a container of cola. (it dissolves, apparently)  For someone who had never competed in anything before in his life, this was a huge achievement.

Unfortunately he didn't have long to enjoy his time in the sun: he'd only just received his commemorative plaque when his future-self jumped out of a time machine and viciously attacked him with a 2x4, nearly beating himself to death before escaping back to wherever it was he came from.

Vince vowed revenge, and once he was released from hospital he immediately began teaching himself everything he needed to know to build a working time machine.  His plan, you see, was to inflict the same damage to his attacker as he'd received that fateful afternoon, right down to blindsiding him while he was accepting his very first science award.

Perhaps if he'd been less angry he would have understood how pointless the whole thing was; he was only hurting himself, after all.  But he felt it was his destiny, and the moment he finished his time machine he was gone, setting in motion a vicious circle that even to this day I'm not certain I understand.

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