Selling Myself

I'm pretty awful when it comes to self-promotion. I'm always worried I'll cross that line, turning off potential customers. So I do the opposite: none at all. And guess what happens? Nothing. As in, no sales. No downloads. Nada.

So I've decided to be a little more aggressive in my approach. Nothing too brash, but I've decided I can put my cartooning skills to some use. I mean, something's gotta work, right?

Forgotten Treasures

I was flipping through one of my sketchbooks and came across this little gem. I'd completely forgotten I'd made it. I drew it soon after moving to Ottawa. We were into the whole geocaching thing. That's faded, though. Mostly because the geocaching app I use is crap. That and I'm lazy.

I've updated it (the app) but it still doesn't work very well. Often it will send us walking in circles, the only treasure being an old Walmart bag. Wait a sec, maybe that was the geocache...

Looking at this cartoon has got me thinking we should take it up again.

Noodles. Oh, Those Lovely Noodles

First cartoon I've done in a while. Did it using my Intuos drawing tablet and an unholy mix of Photoshop and Sketchbook Pro. Not quite the same as drawing with pen and paper, but I'm getting the hang of it.  :)

Tales from the Sock Drawer: Donald the Pangolin

Did you know I have a pangolin living in my sock drawer? It’s true. His name is Donald, and he spends his time brooding in a corner, obsessively playing his mandolin while the rest of us stick our collective fingers in our ears.

We got off to a bit of a bad start, old Donald and I. Seems I once referred to him as a spiny anteater when introducing him to a friend. I honestly don’t remember doing it. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion he invented the whole thing to generate interest in his flagging music career. But I did apologize. Eventually.

I just wish he’d move away so I wouldn’t have to listen to his god-awful mandolin playing any longer. I know the progressive hipster types out there are content to sit there and be amazed he can play an instrument at all. But I’m telling you, the guy stinks. Not only does he lack feeling, but he has absolutely no sense of rhythm. Throw in his love for cheesy 80’s pop, and you have a recipe for something truly horrible. Seriously, six minutes into Donald the Pangolin’s extended version of Phil Collins ‘Easy Lover’ and you’ll be looking for a gun. (to shoot yourself with)

And it’s not as if you can tell him any of this because he’ll either scratch your face or roll up into a ball, depending on his mood. Pangolins. Yeesh!

Tales From the Sock Drawer: Little Ralphie Ning

I used to like Little Ralphie.  He's one of those genuinely nice guys: someone who'll always say 'hi', even if it means crossing the road.  When he discovered I was writing a book, he took a real interest in how it was progressing, asking to read the various drafts and posing all sorts of questions about the back story.  It made me feel good.

So when Ralphie asked me whether I thought he should try writing a novel too, I told him, 'absolutely'.  Every second Tuesday he would e-mail me what he'd written, and I would respond with 'awesome!', along with a quick note on how he could make something better.  Never once did I think it would actually go anywhere. After all, I was the writer with the quirky imagination.  He was just a kid with a stupid story about vampire mermaids.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered he'd snagged himself an agent.  Now he was the one offering me encouragement while I sat at home wondering if this whole writing thing was a waste of time.  And if that wasn't bad enough I just discovered his book is due to be published this Spring.

Outside I pretend to be happy for Little Ralphie's success, but inside I hate him.

My Novel, Escaping Entry, is Free Today!

If you like four-armed demons, omnivorous bulls and thousand foot giants, you'll love Escaping Entry.

You can download it free in the US and Canada here.

You can download it free in the UK here.

Have a lovely day, and careful walking the stairs.

Tales From the Sock Drawer: Philip Tumba

Philip Tumba is a member of the Bulgoni Tribe.

Bulgonis are famous for starting life as senior citizens, aging backwards until approximately the age of forty-one, and then spending the rest of their lives aging like everyone else.

Meaning Philip Tumba is either three years old or eighty-five.

(I'm too embarrassed to ask.)