Tales From the Sock Drawer: Cheep

Back when my oldest daughter was 4 years old, I made the mistake of getting her a subscription to Cheep magazine.  The magazine itself was fairly benign.  Every month it featured stories and cartoons about the eponymous bird interacting with his many neighbors and friends.  But my daughter found it boring, and once the year was over, we were happy to let the subscription run out.

Except the magazines kept coming.

I didn't give it a second thought until one day I got a phone call from someone threatening to break my kneecaps if I didn't bring my account up to date.  I assumed someone was playing a joke on me, only to wake one morning to a large yellow bird smashing the windows on my wife's Toyota.

Turns out Cheep is also in charge of his magazine's collections department, and let me tell you, he's nothing like the adorable little fuzzball portrayed on the cover.  He's a thug, and that's why I've given very clear instructions to my children that if they ever see a big, bat wielding bird in a trench coat approach the house, they are to turn off all the lights and hide downstairs.