Another Post on the Fiends Living in my Sock drawer

Poppet the kitty puppet might very well be the most frightening of all the weirdos in my sock drawer. Every afternoon from 1 p.m. to to 3:30 p.m. Poppet sings ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’. What’s so scary about that, you ask? The guy holding her is dead.

Meet the Fiends Living in my Sock Drawer

Being an imp Pubby, is prone to doing naughty things. Nothing catastrophic (like filling a car with seawater and eels), he simply takes great delight in dabbling in the annoying. For example he never flushes the toilet. And he’s always adding drops of Tabasco to the juice in the fridge. His favorite trick is convincing someone to pull his finger and then vomiting all over their shoes.

More Fiends in my Sock Drawer

Clive’s father was a haddock fisherman who’s spare time was spent building sailing ships in bottles. His hobby was all consuming, and when Clive was born, he managed to convince the mother to let him put Clive in a bottle as well. It was a difficult job, and it took over three weeks before Clive’s head was big enough that he couldn’t get out again, but when it was all done, Clive’s father was left with a curiosity worthy of any fisherman’s mantle piece. Unfortunately Clive’s father grew to hate his offspring in a bottle, and one day when I was away in Ontario, he sneaked him into my sock drawer before disappearing off to an island somewhere in the South Pacific. Clive enjoys processed cheese slices and apple wedges.

Yet Another Post About the Fiends in my Sock Drawer

Never get into a conversation with Mr. Brambles, for talk will inevitably veer towards his disdain for religion. I’ve met outspoken atheists in the past, but none of them compare to Tony. Just the idea that someone else made him is enough to send him shouting, which is strange considering he’s made out of Legos.

Another Post on the Fiends Living in my Sock drawer

All Randolph seems to do is sit on his very old beanbag and gossip while inhaling bacon sandwiches. A day isn’t complete without someone else’s tale of misfortune for him to wallow around in. The worst part is listening to him say, “That appeals to my sense of humor,” every time someone has something depressing to share. Seriously, out of all the weirdos in my sock drawer, Randolph is the one I would most like to see mauled by my Miniature Pinscher.

Meet the Fiends Living in my Sock Drawer

This is stinky Evan. He’s a nice enough fellow, the only problem is he insists on going to the toilet in my socks, giving them a horrible smell.  Of course, he denies it, but I know it’s him.

What is my favorite inanimate object? (don't worry, It's a writing prompt.)

That’s funny, I was going to answer my old lab cross buried in the backyard, but I don’t think that’s what I meant.  So instead, I will say: a little lead figure of a pirate I got in an easter egg back when I was only 8 years old.  Oh, the good old days, when you could still find lead objects stuffed inside candy…